Sunday, April 18, 2010

Ow! My gut!

I haven’t updated lately.  I’ll try to avoid going into a Manteca Bulletin-Ruby-shooting-oswald2esque tale of personal woe (How I was a fat kid, how I fell off my bicycle, how I can’t eat onions, how I got a bad haircut, how we used the hot tub at our honeymoon at Half Moon Bay, etc.)

At right is an artist’s conception of what I looked like at the emergency room Tuesday afternoon.  Oh, I’m not going to go into the excruciating pain, urinating blood, the vomiting, turning colors, etc.  But I guess I just did.

It all turned out well.  Jackie did a yeoman’s job as an ambulance driver.  I’ll be damned if I was going to pay those people a $1,000 for a glorified taxi ride.  And the people at San Joaquin County Hospital did a fantastic job.  Despite the fight taking place in the waiting room when I staggered in doing my impression of Oswald meets Ruby, they took me in right away really took good care of me.  I even got a CT scan.  The machine looked like it was the first one ever made.  But hey, it did the job.

Time to stop being appreciative for all that everyone did for me and get back to complaining. 


  1. Multiply that pain by a thousand and you will then understand why giving birth is referred to as "walking through the valley of the shadow of death".
    So what was the final outcome?
    Did you pass the "rock" or did it just stop moving?

  2. I know, my mother wouldn't stop reminding me of that when I was a kid. In fact the nurse said "you've just given birth!" And I asked her where she got her nursing license for coming up with that diagnosis. There's some doubt where the rock is right now. The scan showed it had just moved to my bladder, where it might stay for a while or move on.

  3. I can assure you that if it decides to "move" on, you will be acutely aware of it. So keep the Jackie "express" handy!